Once again the ticket offices are open, the turnstiles spin and the curtain raises on a bright, new, shiny, smells-like-freshly-cut-grass BFFA season. Welcome back!
Premier League // Championship // League One // League Two
The season gets underway once again with a couple of exhibition matches – The Dare Holdren Community Shield and The BFFA Super Cup.
The Community Shield, named after The Community Shield, puts the BFFA Cup winners against the best League Champions of 2023. Not only did Housewives Favourite win their league, they won the Champion of Champions quickie-k.o. AND were the Best-ish title winners of Season Nine. Mighty Fine Feeling won not only the BFFA Cup last May, but they also fought tooth-and-nail to take the Premier League title too.
There are a heck of a lot of trophies behind these two heavyweights already. One of them will be picking up one more to add to their collection on Monday.
Mighty fine feeling -v- Housewives Favourite
The Super Cup is reasonably new and it serves to remind us that a title is for life, not just for Christmas. So the two teams that won the Champions League and the Intramural League way back in December last year – you’re still awesome and we’re still envious.
Both Premier League teams now and both in the Champions League from next month, we will be watching and comparing the freshly-drafted power of:
Gloopy Yarbles -v- Sporting Wicker Park
Barons -v- Mighty fine feeling
Amazingly, the random fixture list has set up the ultimate season opener. Forget the exhibition games – this one already looks like it will have a crucial effect on the league. The Premier League Champions will begin their title defence against the Premier League Runners-Up, a team that matched their 21-2-12 record last season, Barons FC.
For the most part of the season, it was Barons who got the better of their exchanges. After sharing the goalless draw in GW7, Barons (then in 6th place) beat top-of-the-league MIghty fine feeling 35-34! And then nine gameweeks later there was a much more convincing win for the newly-promoted side, who had slowly climbed the ladder to second. They rocked the league leaders and took the three points by winning 55-16. Barons reached number one; MFF fell to third.
Just one week later the two sides met again in the BFFA Cup Third Round. MFF sought revenge for being knocked off the top spot and promptly knocked Barons out of the tournament, 44-31. Following that both teams showed inconsistant form across the intervening eight league games, but somehow when GW34 came around they were again first and second in the league. However, on the antipenultimate gameweek of the season, it was Barons who were top and Mighty second going into the early May double-gameweek. On this occasion, MFF took the hundred-point thriller 56-49, having come back from being 40-28 down. The final two weeks saw Barons and Mighty matching each other’s results, with the former losing by just two points to Wijnaldum Leviosa. MFF held on to first place with an impressive matchpoints total, boosted by a massive score of 97 in the final League game (and also the biggest BFFA win of the season – 66 FPts, 97-31 vs. TMT).
History aside, this one promises to be headline-grabbing.
Boss -v- Route 57 FC
At the beginning of last season we were looking at the Premier League Champions against the newly-promoted Championship champions in this matchup. They played on the final week in every set of nine and it could have been another title battle. Unfortunately, that’s not how it played out.
Boss and Route 57 played out four increasingly tighter games in the Premier League last season. In Gameweek 9 they were 1st and 9th, and it was the lower-placed team, R57, that stormed their first-ever meeting 70-50. Nine weeks later Boss had dropped to sixth and R57 had clawed their way up to seventh, and again the game went against the form with Boss winning 40-23.
By GW27 the pair had swapped places (albeit Boss had dropped below Route 57) and there R57 stole an important three points, winning by three matchpoints in a 129-pt thriller. But then at the very end of the season, with absolutely nothing to play for, Boss levelled the score with a two-point victory. Ian steered the ship to safety and Darren navigated through the playoffs to retain their PL place for this season, but Route 57 had the last laugh by beating Boss 32-26 in the PL-IML-Qualifier Final, and will thus be one of eight playing for a little bit extra next month.
Doiusethesamename -v- Sporting Wicker Park
Stalwarts and knockout specialists, both of these teams are approaching big milestones in the BFFA. Wijnaldum Leviosa have enjoyed 298 competitive games so far in their seven previous seasons (albeit that includes the first half of Season 3 before Simon took over as manager) and originals SWP have contested 398 matches so far. So this will be game #299 and #399 for these two this weekend.
Over the last two seasons Wijnaldum Leviosa and Sporting Wicker Park have shared a league and shared the field eight times. Of those eight, Wij have won only once (but it was a big win) – 82-43. The last five (inc. all four last season) were owned by The Park. Yet, despite the whitewash, Leviosa only finished two points below SWP in fourth and narrowly missed out on Champions League qualification. With these two teams drafting seventh and eighth, could we be treated to an even closer battle in this campaign?
Gloopy Yarbles -v- El Dude Bros
The Yarbles and the El Dude Bros, the big screen gang against the small screen pair, didn’t clash on the fantasy field until Gameweek 9 last season, but when they did they went at it as first and second in the Championship. And in furious drama emulating the Yarbles’ namesakes, Gloopy violently stole the top spot with a destructive 24-point win.
They were still top when the two battled it out again on New Years’ Eve. The El Dude Brothers had dropped to fourth and were fifteen points off the pace, while the Yarbles were dominating, six points above Wives’ Fave in second. After a six-game losing streak, The El Dude Brothers decided that enough was enough and retaliation was the course of action. They started 2023 with a 51-32 win over the league leaders and that kickstarted a TEN-game winning streak that, yes, brought them back to victory over Gloopy once again in GW27.
That 14-pt loss toppled Gloopy off the top of the table and they never recovered it. They met on the final gameweek of the season with nothing to play for. With no fear of dropping down and an unobtainable amount of matchpoints needed to climb up a place, the two sides played out a redundant game for appearances. The result was a thunderous 68-35 victory for Gloopy, now third, and brought them level on points with their rivals, but triple-figures below them on matchpoints. The El Dude Brothers were promoted as Runners-Up; Gloopy Yarbles were left to try their arm at a play-off.
Smash & Grab -v- Housewives Favourite
The 4-time league Champions meet the World #2’s in their first-ever Premier League match this weekend. This will be the first time that the two have met, and it will be nothing short of history-in-the-making. With a dozen trophies between them, including a Best-ish award in both houses, there will be a huge amount of talent on display here this weekend.
Housewives Favourite have the advantage going into the game from fourth position in the Draft. Fourth pick led to the Premier League title and the Championship title last season (and runners-up in both the season before). This season the #4 handshake was given to Marcus Rashford, and was complimented by James Maddison at #17. Facing them this week expect to see Ollie Watkins and Phil Foden, drawn at #9 & #12. They scored 26 goals between them in the last campaign; Rashford & Maddison got 27. We can expect goals and assists and a ton of other top-class attributes coming out of this game. Be ready for anything.
A.F.C. Chester -v- Atletico Topo Chico
It’s been a torrid time for AFC Chester. They were second in the Championship when the season was prematurely concluded in 2020 with no promotions, then they controversially missed out on a move to the Premier League in 2021 when GoFYS took the third promotion place on matchpoints scored. 2022 saw Chester fall to League One after finishing ninth, and that bad run of form continued into September and October with AFC Chester treading water in eighth and ninth. It looked bleak for the northerners, but November last year gave them some new hope.
They had lost by three points to Atletico Topo Chico in Gameweek 8 and didn’t expect to take anything away from the rematch in GW17. ATC, who had won League Two the year before, were pushing for promotion, in third place and just three points off the top. However, on a newly-found run of form, Chester won the game 49-38 and moved to within three points of ATC.
ATC went away and won the next four games. Chester lost GW18 against top-of-the-League Klopps & Robbers, but recovered immediately and began a stellar, almost completely unnoticed rise to the top. The second half of the season saw AFC Chester lose only four times out of the 18 and, whilst others faultered, Chester plowed on, clawing out difficult wins against tough opposition and claimed the title two games before the end of the season.
But that’s not to say the Atletico Topo Chico were in any way softened by the zero-to-hero story of Chester. ATC finished third and came through the Playoffs triumphant, winning both games against StillluvQPR and earned a second consecutive promotion.
All Star Gunners -v- Webuiltthis City
The two teams that picked players at opposite ends of the Draft meet here in Gameweek One. Web City went first and, predictably, selected Haaland. ASG went last and signed Son & TAA at #10 & #11. Everyone then passed on Gakpo until he fell to City at #20.
As for history, last season these two exchanged blows from opposite side of the world with ASG coming off the better with two wins out of the three games. And they were all big wins too: 53-22 and 84-35 in favour of the home team, and finally 84-41 for City. Both teams seemed happy to hang around midtable for the majority of the season, but that’s unlikely to be the case again this year.
Allison Wonderland -v- Hung Like a Bony
They played together in League One two years ago, and both were promoted as the L1 Runners-Up in the last two seasons. Hung were promoted first, one season after dropping into L1, and finished second thanks in part to the nine points they took from their four games against Allison Wonderland. They then managed to finish in the top four in the Championship last season; not enough for a back-to-back promotions, but enough to make the Champions League this year.
Allison Wonderland gained their third promotion in four seasons (and are also in the Champions League this season) with that second place finish. However, they will still be kicking themselves after being top for exactly half-a-season, but letting their form drop towards the end. Nevertheless, the Championship is where they wanted to be this year, and with third pick in the Draft they might be considered favourites for this game.
Cullen the herd -v- Vanishing Spray FC
Cullen are looking to start their season with their 200th win in competitive competition, but to get it this weekend they will have to win against a team that they’ve faced in each of the last six seasons. This will be the first time they’ve met in the second tier, but that doesn’t mean that they are going to approach the tie with any less gusto.
Drafting with #2 and #5 picks, both teams can expect to do quite well. Can Salah and Maddison outshine Ødegaard and Wilson?
Fergi Time -v- GoFysFC
Fergi Time are another team on the rise – two seasons, two promotions, and they are ready to push on to the Premier League, no matter how long it takes. They hold the longest current win streak coming out of the last season – last five unbeaten – and that will become six if they win on Monday.
Their first challenge in the second tier will be against the first Premier League Champions – GoFysFC. Members of the original twenty that founded the BFFA, GoFys have seen nearly ten years of BFFA football and it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. They’ve had good seasons and bad, big wins and narrow losses, and it really depends on what GoFys team you get. Last season, rivals stillluvQPR got to see the ruthless side of GoFYS as they beat Stillluv on the final day of the season in a do-or-die match for survival. StillluvQPR lost, were relegated and then were knocked out of IML Qualifying the very next week by the very same team. So don’t expect any quarter to be spared. This is a Premier-League-quality team in the wrong division, and they are out to right that wrong.
Uncle Monty -v- De Bruyne Trousers
You might remember seeing this fixture in the opening gameweek of League Two last season. Yes, these two sides have both been elevated up into League One and they were indeed GW1 opponents last August. That famous first meeting ended 46-46, and was to be the highest-scoring tie in L2 last season. Immediately after that, DBT went to the top of the league and Uncle Monty sank to ninth.
But that was not how the story was going to go. By Gameweek 10, when the two sides were due to meet again, Uncle Monty (then Real Bastardos) had climbed up above DBT and into third. But De Bruyne Trousers had other ideas. With a firm reminder of who they were, DBT thrashed RB Monty 65-45 and retook third place.
Well, no team who are serious about winning the title woul take that lying down, and Uncle Monty went on a nine-game winning streak, beating all-comers, including revenge on DBT in GW19, when they overshadowed the previous 20-pt defeat with a 25-pt victory. Real Bastardos were top and refused to give it up. They held on to the title, quite comfortably towards the end, and DBT finished in third. RB/M were entered into the Champion of Champions knockout, and De Bruyne Trousers went to the Playoffs where, as you know, they beat Ole’s at the wheel on aggregate and became the latest entries into League One.
BattleVAR Galatico -v- East Loop United
East Loop and BattleVAR finished within just a single point of each other, in fifth and sixth place last season, and it was sixth-placed United that scored the better (143 FPts better across the 36 gameweeks). They will still be rueing the two back-to-back draws they took away in December. But they can’t lay too much blame on the Galaticos, as both teams collected six points from each other, winning on alternate meetings.
The last game had BattleVAR taking the win 45-39 and helped them climb upto fourth, challenging for third place. However after that last meeting, any hope of promotion quickly faded away with both teams only winning two of their final five games and hanging on for midtable mediocrity. But it should be noted that East Loop started the brighter; they were not out of the top three for the first twelve weeks of the season (that was until BVar beat ELU 35-27) and are expected to start well again with the number one pick in the Draft.
Chicken and Bane Sane -v- CG XI
This will be match #350 for original members C&BS, and game #40 for the sophomores CG XI. C&BS are coming back after a horrible season in 2022/23 hoping to put the ghost of a doomed effort to rest and restore some pride into their followers. CG XI will be hoping to improve on last year’s fourth-place finish and challenge for the title somewhat more fully, given that they spent a large part of 2022 in first place.
This will be the first meeting between the two sides and a nice warm-up for CG XI as they familiarise themselves with the third tier landscape, before they get suddenly rocketed into the Champions League to face even bigger, even more menacing opposition.
FC Santa Barbara -v- Peltier
Peltier have every reason to feel hard done by after last season’s heroic efforts. They finished sixth in the Best-ish rankings, yet seventh in their league. They were the best-scoring team outside of the top-three finishers (and thus were entered into the Champions League Qualifiers), but unfortunately have nothing to show for their incredible scoring prowess. The results just didn’t go their way a lot of the time, but they are back with the magic #4 pick from the Draft, and using it to hire the firepower and flair of Mssrs. Salah and Alexander-Arnold as their main weapons.
FC Santa Barbara are here to impress as their ninth season gets underway from third pick in the Draft. FCSB initially took a black-and-white leaning, also mixing goal potential with attacking defensive units – Isak & Trippier, before snapping up Gakpo in front of Peltier. So it’s fair to say that the Liverpool game this weekend could be the deciding factor in this matchup.
Whiskey De Bruyne -v- StillluvQPR
So this one should be interesting – it’s League Two’s Runners-Up, promoted in their first season, against a seasoned rival and former BFFA Cup holders StillluvQPR. The latter are playing in their eighth season with us and are fresh out of the ordeal of losing a promotion playoff, while WdB will consider this season to be Round Two and should come out fighting. Whatever happens, both teams have the skills, the knowledge, the desire to do well, and both have good Draft position too. Watch this space.
Jaysokker -v- Ole’s at the wheel
Week One reunites the two teams that were relegated from League One last season. Both interfered with each other’s survival plans, each taking six points off the other. The first two meetings saw Ole’s team stride out as winners 40-20 & 72-47, the latter win taking Ole up to the dizzying highs of fourth place. But nine gameweeks later, the Jaysokker lasso pulled them back down with two defeats (57-49 & 35-23). The Liverpool game will be crucial on Sunday as Salah, Darwin Núñez, Robertson and Virgil van Dijk will hope to start for Jaysokker, while Ole has Luis Diaz and/or Reece James to counter.
Don’t Tripp on Silva -v- Goleta Hotspur
Rookies Don’t Tripp on Silva come into the BFFA with a strong show of solidarity, representing their own name by signing Kieran Trippier and Bernardo Silva in Rounds 3 & 4. Those two signings were further complimented by the additions of Callum Wilson and John Stones. However, they were countered by their GW1 opponents who picked up Pope, Schär and also Phil Foden. Goleta further muddied the water by collecting Gabriel and Benjamin White after DToS had recruited Ødegaard and Ramsdale. So you can expect this first match to run very close. However, vital differences may emerge out of the Amex Stadium if Ferguson and Groß can do the business for Goleta, otherwise a good United performance could see Casemiro, Garnacho and Martinez stealing the win on Monday.
Harambe Hotspur -v- Shams army
Brighton’s opening fixture against underdogs Luton will be the key for Shams army’s title challenge in week one. The new entries in the BFFA have invested heavily in the Seagulls with no less than seven Brighton players in their books on Draft Day. But if that doesn’t work out this week, then it could be a former teammate Mac Allister who undoes all that faith if he gets on the scoresheet when it matters for Liverpool. Lining up beside him will be goalkeeper Allison and, confusingly, Chelsea’s Mudryk.
But this fixture may be more about wishing misfortune on the opposing players than wishing their own well. The Hotspurs here will be hoping that Kane isn’t involved before that on Sunday, especially as Ben Mee might get a look in, while the Army will be praying that the Burnley defence, the best in the Championship last season (Pld. 46, Con. 35), can hold their own against De Bruyne and Grealish. There’s certainly a lot more to H2H games than just watching your own eleven.
SkyPlayerinFPL -v- Alleviate the Tedium
#1 draft pick Erling Haaland and Nathan Ake will again face MCR rivals Bruno Fernandes and Luke Shaw, albeit on opposite sides of the weekend. Man City are first up on Friday, away at Vincent Kompany’s Burnley, while United wait until Monday to get their season going against Wolves, whom they haven’t conceded against in the last four encounters. Key games might also see Newcastle fielding five for Alleviate the Tedium – Isak, Barnes, Almiron, Joelinton and Botman all available, while Sunday might bring the points in for SkyPlayerinFPL with new signings Nicolas Jackson and Dominik Szoboszlai in contention, preceded by what may possibly be first starts for Mark Flekken and Destiny Udogie.
The Phenoms -v- Boudi’s Crew
This game pits a manager that’s been on the waiting list since last October against one that agreed to play just hours before the Draft. Welcome to you both! Unfortunately for the manager that’s been waiting the longest, the football gods were not on his side on Draft Day and they gave him tenth pick in the Draft. However, we’ve seen what good managers can do with that, and this side has the potential to fly out of the gates. With the tenth and eleventh picks in the Draft, The Phenoms selected two players that were nothing short of phenomenal last season – Trent Alexander-Arnold and Gabriel Martinell. Together, they have got the potential to inflict great damage on all opponents throughout the season and it will take a lot to keep their scores below 150 this time around.
To push back the tide this week, Boudi’s Crew will be fronting Thiago Silva in the Chelsea defence and looking to Mitrovic and Vinicius to score well against a struggling Everton outfit. Tottenham’s opening game down the road at nearby Brentford could be make-or-break for Boudi, with a third of their squad adorning the lilywhites this month, but their powerhouse won’t appear until Monday evening when Rashford returns to face Wolves, against whom it was that he was benched for oversleeping last New Years’ Eve, but scored the only goal of the game after coming on at half-time. From zero to hero.
You must be logged in to post a comment.