“Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”
– Miracle on 34th Street
Good tidings we bring to Smash, Zoo and Sting. We wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Also, Harambe Hotspur and Diego Stamos 7 are celebrating being top at Christmas too (congrats!) but that was less easy to work into musical parody. I’ll take suggestions.
“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!”
– Home Alone
Premier League
Only one team in the PL have won both of their last two games – All Star Gunners. The first was against Bigo1, then they beat Vanishing Spray. Next they face basement boys AC Reykjavik while Spray and Bigo1 fight amongst themselves. A win for Spray would lift them up to eighth, but still at least five points shy of safety.
While all that is going on down there, the top two will fight for first place. FC Santa Barbara have beaten Smash & Grab both times in the Premier League this season and a third win would see them finally grab top spot after sitting patiently in Second for the last five weeks.
There’s a three-way scrap for Third, with Bigger than Brolin and ASG just three points away from joining in. The Money Team and Mighty fine feeling both lost last week, but play on Boxing Day to decide who goes third next. Boss also have a shout, but play a BtB side that beat them last time they met.
Championship
Tralfamadore Zoo have been top at Christmas for the last three seasons. On top of that, AFC Chester have been sitting in second place at Christmas thrice in the last four. The Zoo have managed to turn both of their previous Christmas #1’s into League titles, whereas Chester have had mixed results. In S3 they held out for third place, but in S4 they dropped from second to sixth. The next season they were a lowly eighth at Christmas, but then managed to finish the season as runners-up! Proof, if proof were needed, that anything can happen here.
A fact proven again last weekend when Chucky Pad Warriors beat the mighty Zoo and earned themselves a valuable three points. Unfortunately for the Warriors, Sporting Wicker Park beat their closest rivals, Banana Swans, and opened up the gap over the relegation zone to nine points.
After playing everyone twice, we have three teams level on points at the top of the Championship. Right now, Tralfamadore Zoo have the worst form in the top half, winning just two of the last five, whereas Chester, GoFYS and East Loop have won four of those five games. It’s going to be a fun festive period.
League One
Another team that have had a lot of Christmassy success is KH Granitza Sting. This is the third time that they have been top at Christmas and the first time that they’ve not been level on points at this stage (albeit they’re only one point ahead of Cornballers). That one point came courtesy of a draw against Route 57 in GW 9. This weekend they got the result they wanted against R57 and returned to the top after hanging around in second & third for the last eleven weeks.
Hung Like a Bony also beat the team they drew with last time they met, as did stilluvQPR. Both remain third and fourth respectively, but together they moved closer to Cornballers and away from Goleta. Hotspur hold onto fifth place thanks to a Jack Grealish consolation goal against Bacuna Matata, but lost Heung-Min Son to a three-week suspension.
Only one team has ever won the League after sitting fifth on Christmas Day. That team was Sporting Wicker Park in Season One. They were nine points off the leaders. Goleta are currently twelve points off the pace. No team has ever won the League after being in the bottom half of the table at Christmas.
The bottom six in League One go into Boxing Day just six points apart (with the highest scoring of them at the bottom, just saying). This does make it much easier for the deck to be reshuffled, but history is against the lowly. More than half of the teams in eighth place at Christmas finished the season in the bottom three. Less than one-quarter of those in ninth place at this time have finished outside the relegation zone and only three teams have ever signed off above the red line after being last at Christmas. But if Leicester can do it…
League Two
In Gameweek nine Harambe Hotspur beat Sugar Daddies to climb up to second place. They remained there until last weekend when a second win over Sugar (and their sixth sucessive League win) finally opened the door to first place. Tiger Tail Retaliation also won this week but by the narrowest of margins. Their score of 33 left them two matchpoints shy of first place, but added to the gap between the top two and the rest.
When there are fourteen points separating second & third and only ten points between third and last, the League will begin to foster an “us and them” mentality. Luckily, there’s still a promotion place to aim for. Unluckily for The Globes, their next game is against the new League leaders, who have beaten them twice already this season. And at the other end of the table, BattleVAR and Wijnaldum will be fighting for the three points that will keep one of them in the chase.
National League
Diego Stamos return to the top after a week away. A ten-point win over Katner moved them up, and dropped Katner down to fifth. Ole’s at the Wheel beat Housewives’ Favourite; last time together they shared the points with a 40-40 draw, this time OatWheel took the game by four. Klopps and Robbers won the Battle in the Basement and move off the bottom, Cumberland beat Chi Spurs to go third and Chitown Gooners climb a place after beating the team above them.
The BFFA has run seventeen Leagues over the last five years. Of those seventeen, the team top at Christmas has gone on to win the League eleven times. A good omen if you’re top this morning; a challenge if you’re not.
Merry Christmas.
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