“In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King.”
– Desiderius Erasmus
We all know that it’s not easy when you can’t see what’s going on. The nights are coming in, the fixtures are piling up and squad rotation leads to much confusion and mystery. There are some managers though that can see through the fog – they can see the yellow cards coming, the unscheduled rest days, the unreported and sometimes unexpected paternity leave. These elite few have a gift, a treasure, a foresight that puts them ahead of the rest. They instinctively know who to start and who to bench, who to trade out and who to target. These geniuses always rise to the top. Then again, there’s another breed of manager who are just plain lucky. Really lucky. Like Stan Collymore lucky. You might be one of them and this might be your season.
YouTube: ‘Top 20 Lucky Goals’
“Even a blind squirrel and all that...”
– Gerald Mortensen
Premier League
People are always asking me – what makes this the best fantasy league in the world? The answer is simple, just look at the table. Only six points separate first and ninth, one point between first and fifth, just a single matchpoint between FC Santa Barbara and Bigger Than Brolin! No more than a silver lining to a team that were knocked out of the Champions League on a tiebreaker, but I’m sure it’s nice to be a shade above the team that beat them 38-28 just a few weeks ago.
The Money Team, who did win their CL QF, did the dirty on FCSB and pole vault themselves up from fourth to first. With Smash, Brolin and Santa Barbara all losing, Boss climbed up to third with their win over MFF, which somewhat compensated for their loss to Money in the CL. Next week it’s top v bottom in the Premier League and I’m sure most of the BFFA and their fans worldwide will be rooting for the underdogs to get their second win of the season and shake up the best fantasy league in the world even more.
Championship
When you’re top of the League and your next match is against your rivals in second, you want to make a statement. 49 points and a win is a good way of sending a message. Unfortunately for AFC Chester, losing to Voyageurs means that this six-pointer next week is all the more important. Maybe it’s a seven-pointer, maybe a nine-pointer… Who knows what we’ll be thinking when we look back on this in May.
Branwellington missed their opportunity to catch up to ninth place and are starting to drift away. Voyageurs & United both won and Wicker Park lost which means that they are all level on points at the break. These three play the bottom three when the EPL returns. GoFYS go against Warriors with second place in their sights.
League One
In these darkening days, it’s hard to break away and go it alone. Cornballers lost the five-point lead that they’d been holding onto for three weeks and go into Week 13 knowing that a loss will cost them the top spot. Next they face a Hung LaB side that haven’t lost for two months.
The last team to beat Hung were KH Granitza Sting and they are also still very much in the hunt for promotion. They too have a tough’un next week against the team immediately below them, Bacuna Matata, who beat KH 46-38 last time there. Bacuna Matata will know that losing next weekend will leave them seven league points and a heap of matchpoints shy of the top three. But there are worse problems to have, right?
League Two
Back on form, Tiger Tail Retaliation extend their lead at the top to nine points as Harambe lose the top-of-the-League clash 39-25. At the other end of the table, Chicken and Bacon Sané had a big win over BattleVAR Galáctico and move above Yer Man on points scored. Harambe’s nine-point cushion over the field has been reduced to six with Gloopy, Globey and Obi-Wan Bissaka-ey all winning and the scrap for the third automatic promotion place continues.
Next week two very off-form teams – Sugar Daddies and Yer Man, suffering 5- and 7-game losing streaks – will meet and hopefully one of the two will collect those much-needed three points. Tiger Tail play Obi-Wan and Harambe face BattleVAR; both of the top two won those matches very comfortably last time. The Globes and Gloopy, both building on back-to-back wins, play Wijnaldum and Chicken and Bacon Sané next also hoping for repeat results.
National League
Team of the week was undeniably Katner FC, the only side this week to pass to 50-point mark. Unfortunately, the win hasn’t helped them move up the League, but they are closer to third & fourth. Ole’s at the Wheel hold on to fifth with a win over the Gooners, DS7’s five-game winning streak came to an end and Cumberland were on the receiving end of Katner’s powerhouse performance. Both DS7 & Cumberland remain on 21 points, still just two matchpoints apart. The top two both won again and open up some space above the rest while Jaysokker and Slab Head eeked out a draw which probably felt like a loss to both. Hopefully that point will come in handy to someone later in the season.
OatWheel face Chi Spurs next week, both on a three-game winning streak. The bottom two play and the loser will go/remain bottom, unless K&R take a nosedive against promotion-hopefuls Cumberland FC. First plays third, four points apart, and the mighty Katner play Jaysokker with both hoping to climb into the top half.
Results Clean-up!
Due to a disturbance in the Source, there were some funny numbers being thrown around the last couple of weeks. Here, for clarity if nothing else, are some verified results.
Gameweek 10 Results
Premier League
All Star Gunners 34 – 32 AC Reykjavik CobbleHill
Bigger Than Brolin 33 – 17 Boss
Bigo1 33 – 44 Vanishing Spray F.C.
Mighty fine feeling 35 – 56 The Money Team
Smash & Grab 40 – 43 FC Santa Barbara
Championship
AFC Chester 40 – 42 Sporting Wicker Park
Banana Swans 36 – 37 SB Town Baggers
Branwellington F.C. 18 – 37 Chucky Pad Warriors
Tralfamadore Zoo 44 – 36 East Loop United F.C.
Voyageurs 29 – 28 GoFYS F.C.
League One
Bacuna Matata 35 – 40 Hung Like a Bony
Cornballers F.C. 47 – 23 stilluvQPR
Goleta Hotspur 31 – 30 Webuiltthis City
K.H. Granitza Sting F.C. 56 – 34 RelicFC
Route 57 F.C. 32 – 32 Cabezazo Increíble
Gameweek 11 Results
Premier League
AC Reykjavik CobbleHill 32 – 27 Bigo1
All Star Gunners 50 – 39 Bigger Than Brolin
Boss 34 – 37 Smash & Grab
FC Santa Barbara 39 – 20 Mighty fine feeling
The Money Team 34 – 23 Vanishing Spray F.C.
Championship
Chucky Pad Warriors 28 – 37 East Loop United F.C.
GoFYS F.C. 36 – 35 Tralfamadore Zoo
SB Town Baggers 34 – 32 AFC Chester
Sporting Wicker Park 41 – 15 Branwellington F.C.
Voyageurs 27 – 32 Banana Swans
League One
Cabezazo Increíble 20 – 27 Hung Like a Bony
Goleta Hotspur 21 – 33 Cornballers F.C.
RelicFC 56 – 34 Route 57 F.C.
stilluvQPR 43 – 37 K.H. Granitza Sting F.C.
Webuiltthis City 23 – 37 Bacuna Matata
Also in the lower Leagues, the scores were rumoured to be:
Gameweek 10
League Two
BattleVAR Galáctico 38 – 19 Wijnaldum Leviosa
Harambe Hotspur F.C. 34 – 28 The Globes F.C.
Obi-Wan Bissaka 55 – 27 Sugar Daddies
Tiger Tail Retaliation 43 – 42 Gloopy Yarbles
Yer Man 23 – 41 Chicken and Bacon Sané
National League
Chitown Gooners 34 – 43 Diego Stamos 7
Cumberland F.C. 19 – 33 Ole’s at the Wheel
Jaysokker 38 – 45 Chi Spurs
Katner F.C. 37 – 38 Klopps and Robbers
Slab Head F.C. 26 – 22 Housewives’ Favourite
Gameweek 11
League Two
Chicken and Bacon Sané 42 – 44 Tiger Tail Retaliation
Gloopy Yarbles 42 – 19 BattleVAR Galáctico
Harambe Hotspur F.C. 38 – 28 Yer Man
The Globes F.C. 35 – 24 Obi-Wan Bissaka
Wijnaldum Leviosa 33 – 22 Sugar Daddies
National League
Chi Spurs 31 – 20 Chitown Gooners
Diego Stamos 7 34 – 24 Klopps and Robbers
Housewives’ Favourite 57 – 37 Katner F.C.
Ole’s at the Wheel 31 – 27 Jaysokker
Slab Head F.C. 20 – 39 Cumberland F.C.
Enjoy the break. Return fresh and fighty!
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