Premier League
Horseshoe up the arse continues for the “Cans” (also Stormy Daniels’ college nickname) as they remain on the top of the table, finding another team -this week it was ELU- who had an off-week. Chucky Pad woke up. That’s nice. Bigger and the ‘Corns squeeze out one point wins with the division now taking shape with the Big Four and the “Other 6.” I didn’t make that up. I just typed it. OK, after I made it up.
Championship
Well, where I’m from, that’s what you call a “regular ‘ol shit fight” at the top of the Champ table. Mighty fine as faded as of late, like Kajagoogoo after that one song they had. It was catchy. I count 6 teams competing for that final promotion spot to the top tier. Things are going be interesting the rest of the way here both on the top and bottom. There’s another Stormy Daniels reference that could go here but I’m not clever enough to make that happen.
League One
Wijnaldum has to be kicking themselves as they lose to the Zoo by two and really needed those three points. Could be a tough go for them to stay up now, but it’s possible. The middle 8 are all within 11 points so anything can happen here, really. Will stillluv and the REAL QPR both promote this season? That would be weird. Kajagoogoo’s lead singer; he had weird hair.
League Two
Route with a 1 pt win. This is feeling like it’s their year. Harambe with some more chest-pounding and poop-throwing, probably. Mourinho gets a W and is somehow still alive to finish out of the bottom three somehow. Not like there’s relegation to another, lower division…yet. Watch as the 4,5 & 6 put pressure on the current 2 & 3. That’s a lot of numbers. My head hurts.
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