The 2024 BFFA Cup Final

Hung Like a Bony^#1 24 – 66 StillluvQPR^#15

It’s all over.
Congratulations (once again) to StillluvQPR, our third two-time Cup Winners.

Here’s how the 2024 Final played out.

Route to the Final

Line-Ups:

Saturday

The Final kicked off at the London Stadium with West Ham against Liverpool. Gakpo and Bowen started for Stillluv, hoping to take an early lead before Hung Like a Bony joined the match later in the day. Liverpool were fighting to stay in the race for the Premier League title but fading away after loses to Palace and rivals Everton. Despite having 28 shots on goal (8 on target), this game didn’t improve Liverpool’s situation, but it did help StillluvQPR get off to a flying start. The first blow was dealt by Jarrod Bowen nearing the end of the first half. Liverpool did later go ahead through Andy Robertson and an own goal from Stillluv’s reserve ‘keeper, Areola, but West Ham equalized themselves in the 77th minute with a goal from Antonio, assisted by Bowen again. Bowen earned himself three bonus points and Stillluv started the Final up 15-0.

The 3 o’clock kickoffs brought on four players for Stillluv – Burn, Gordon and Isak spreading out across the pitch in black and white, plus Mitchell for Palace away at Fulham – and just two players for Hung Like a Bony – Olise also playing away at the Cottage and Rasmus Højlund hoping to score against another relegation-bound team for the second week in a row. The first goal of the four games came, surprisingly, for Sheffield United who were trying to save face (beaten 8-0 in the reverse fixture) and ultimately save their season. A loss today would relegate them, a win keeps the dream alive. Blades went one-up, Burn and Gordon lost their clean sheet points in less than five minutes. About twenty minutes later however, Isak put the ball past Wes Foderingham and Stillluv had a second goal to celebrate.

The early evening game had nothing to contribute to the Final with Hung’s Mykolenko out with an ankle injury and Stillluv’s Maupay ineligible to play. And so we moved on to Villa Park where Ollie Watkins and Leon Bailey were competing to outscore each other, Martinez kept goal for Stillluv and Golden Boot contender Cole Palmer tried to beat him on behalf of Hung Like a Bony. Long story short, Watkins outscored Bailey but only by a single point, and Palmer could do nothing more than run around for a hundred minutes. He had six shots in the game, only one was on target and that was saved. Martinez didn’t reappear after half-time after pulling his hamstring, so he provided only the one point for the former Cup winners. Not that they needed it at this point; they finished the day up by 36.

End of Play Saturday: Hung Like a Bony 8 – 44 StillluvQPR
Players remaining: Hung – 10; Stillluv – 3

Sunday

Sunday was St. Totteringham’s Day, and it was a special one for the Gooners as they confirmed the date with a 3-2 win away on the enemy’s turf. It was an especially big day for Kai Havertz who assisted the second and scored the third, all before half-time. Spurs clawed two back in the second half, but couldn’t find a third. The three points went to the Arsenal and the three bonus points went to StillluvQPR.

The following game offered no new sign of hope for Hung. Foden missed the game through illness and Doku came off at half-time. Meanwhile Kyle Walker did his bit to ensure that City kept the lead and rewarded Stillluv with a second consecutive clean sheet. The League One side hold a huge lead, but are now out of players. They set the bar high, finishing on 66.

End of Play Sunday: Hung Like a Bony 12 – 66 StillluvQPR
Players remaining: Hung – 5; Stillluv – 0

Thursday

So there it was, a miracle was required for Hung to take the Final. Five players to play, unopposed, but with a 54-point deficit to overcome.
Hung: Chilwell (Che, DEF), Porro (Tot, DEF), Palmer (Che, MID), Johnson (Tot, MID) Nkunku (Che, FWD, Bench #3)
StillluvQPR: None

From the get-go, Chilwell and Nkunku were unavailable due to injury, so the impossible task was given to Porro, Johnson and Palmer. Naturally, with Porro and Palmer negatively affecting each other’s scores, a further hindrance was evident from the start.
Palmer had the first shot, inside the six-yard box in the fourth minute, but failed to hit the target. Johnson, who played for Gloopy Yarbles in the BFFA Champions League Final earlier in the season, had the first shot on goal, from outside the area a minute later, but that one was blocked.

In the 24th-minute the first goal went in from Cholobah’s head following a Gallagher free kick. This denied Porro his clean sheet without a Palmer contribution. Porro tried to make amends with a free kick of his own. It was lofted in towards the far side of the six yard box where it found Romero, who put his header wide. In the second half, Porro himself had a shot on goal but that was saved by Petrovic. Ten minutes later, Palmer had a go from a freekick himself. He went straight for goal, but it rattled the bar and bounced away. Luckily that was met by Jackson who pushed it over the line and Palmer was awarded an assist. Not ideal for Hung Like a Bony, but it was some consolation on a dreary gameweek. The three points did nothing to save the Final, but did contribute to their ongoing campaign to be crowned Best-ish team of the season. We will wait and see how that one plays out, but tonight, we crown StillluvQPR Champions again.

Substitutions:
Hung Like a Bony – On: Clyne (2 FPts), White (1 FPt); Off: Mykolenko, Chilwell
StillluvQPR – None

Final Score: Hung Like a Bony 24 – 66 StillluvQPR

The 2024 BFFA Cup Final	Hung Like a Bony	StillluvQPR
Score	24	66
Goals	0	4
Total xG	2.96	2.37
Assists	1	4
GK/DEF Clean Sheets	0	1
Bonus Points	0	13
Yellow Cards	0	1
Red Cards	0	0
GK Saves	1	1
Minutes Played	1,055	914
Match Performance (BPS Total)	93	246